What is it about reaching the age of fifty that is like a life switch being flipped on? All around us, people are hitting this momentous milestone. Suddenly, a new hunger is generated within, almost like an uncontrollable hankering for a piece of chocolate. But this craving is not quickly or easily satisfied with a sweet because this yearning comes from deep within hearts and souls of boomers seeking purpose and fulfillment in the second half of their lives.
For most, fifty connotes somewhat of a halfway mark. But with longevity and quality of life continuing to increase, more and more people will be living until their 100th year. Recognizing that statistically many of us are likely to be living well into our eighth decade, we have almost as many years ahead of us as behind us. Yet most of us march through the first fifty years somewhat detached from our inner passion and purpose. These two P's have always been there, waiting quietly, patiently for the right moment, waiting for the life switch to be flipped on. As we approach this life juncture, what we will do with this next half becomes a foggy but nagging question for many.
Transition Coaching
How many of us selected our careers or made personal life choices based on what we considered practical, socially acceptable, or because we thought the money would be good? How many of us feel passionate about what we are doing because it lights us up and allows us to feel truly fulfilled? Statistics indicate that over 80% of the population is unhappy with their job, career, or family life! Perhaps this is because the process of selecting a life path is often chosen in college or early in our twenties when we haven't fully explored who we are or what we love. We made "logical," "safe" career decisions. We made socially acceptable personal decisions as well. And once we put ourselves on these paths, we rarely, if ever, veered away. We found change too risky.
How did we make these choices anyway? Many of us analyzed all the pros and cons, and then arrived at the most logical decision. Occasionally, we got input from a well-meaning friend, a sufficiently fearful or negative person who "plays it safe." Sound familiar? Those who did select a life path based on awareness of self-purpose and passion are probably members of a single-digit percentile population base.
It has been found that most of us stopped allowing ourselves to have life dreams by the age of ten.
As early as age ten, societal expectations put us in figurative strait jackets, and we became logic machines. Some of us may allow ourselves to think about our dreams. Most of us, though, have been conditioned to think, "I could never do that," or "Who am I to do that?" A common self-sabotaging statement among boomers is, "I'm too old to try something new," or "I'm not good enough." Or "It's too risky."
There is a huge misconception about what reinventing oneself is all about. Personal reinvention is not about change. It is about living life from the place of who you truly are - your most authentic inner self. Not what the world expects you to be, not what you think you should be, but whom you know you are inside of you. For many, the ability to know who we truly are has been lost. We need some assistance in accessing this insight. But what kind of assistance?
The movie, The Wizard of Oz, holds some important clues. Remember the Cowardly Lion? He desperately wanted the Wizard to give him courage. When he finally found the Wizard, he learned that he had courage all the time. And so do we. The Wizard of Oz is a perfect parable because Dorothy and her friends formed one of the most famous non-sports teams ever. Together, they helped each member arrive in Oz and realize his individual dream. Separately, not one of them would have accomplished their goal.
And how about geese? We know that geese fly in formation. We know there is a lead bird. People think the lead goose leads and all of the other birds follow. Here is the real story. The lead goose actually draws power from the flock. The flock honks to support, inspire, and motivate the lead goose to fly faster. And then, when the lead goose flies faster, they all keep up with him. But the lead goose could not fly as fast without the flock as with it. And, if any goose is injured or sick during the flight, and needs to stop, two members of the flock will land with the injured goose. They will not leave him but will care for him until he is either healed or dead. Then, and only then, will they resume flight.
Perhaps you find it strange that I am writing about geese and The Wizard of Oz in an article about reinventing yourself. As a coach assisting many people from diverse backgrounds through their life transitions, I have found that the potential for reinventing oneself is vastly enhanced by the experience of doing this with others. When people transition together, they move forward more easily, more enjoyably, and with a greater sense of fulfillment. Teams become communities where members empower each other to reinvent themselves and live into new possibilities.
We are living in a time when millions and millions of Americans are reaching an age when they are reevaluating what's next for them. The Baby Boomers have had the greatest impact on every major marketing trend since the 40's: Gerber Baby Foods, Mattel Toys, The Mustang, then the Minivan, and even the Wonderbra. And now, they are leaving the traditional work force in droves asking themselves "What's next for me?" And they are mystified.
If you are not living your life on purpose, I encourage you to flip your life switch on and reinvent yourself. At times, the process is challenging. At times it is exciting. At times it is downright uncomfortable. On the other side of this discomfort is the opportunity for immeasurable joy and vitality.
I have a friend whom I love calling on the phone particularly because I get to hear her voice mail message: "Have a great day, and just remember, life is not a dress rehearsal."
(c) 2007, All rights reserved, Nancy Fox, Fox Coaching Associates
Reinventing Yourself After 50
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