And is isn't hard - it's more about focusing on people, who they are and what interests them. And that's just where you spend your time. About them - not you, not your business. Create partnerships.
5 tips
Be natural - by being yourself, you will build relationships with ease. Trust yourself - let yourself go. Be open, share your feelings, but mostly, listen to others.
Ask questions - you will find out more about others by listening to what they have to say, so be nosy, ask open questions, find out stuff. Then ask more about what they have been telling you.
Show integrity - by ensuring that others can trust you, by following through with promises and being discreet, people will be more open with you and that is the doorway to great relationships. Do what you say you will do.
Match - nothing helps build relationships by matching tone, volume of voice. By taking the same body posture. By paying attention to their eyes (whilst nor staring).
Have fun - nothing works better to build relationships than by having a foundation of a fun time together. So laugh, take time to 'play' and be informal. Take part.
5 Questions
What do you know about your people outside the business?
When was the last time you asked them about something important to them?
What percentage of your people do you speak to every day?
Who have you shared your hopes, fears, worries and excitements about your organisation with this week?
What three steps can you take to build relationships between you and your people - in the next three working days?
There is no time like the present to start and to focus on Relationship Building. It is the basis of all you do when you manage others.
Frequently Asked Questions About Executive Coaching: The Interviews
Because of the growth in popularity of executive coaching many leaders are considering whether coaching is right for them. In order to provide a variety of perspectives on the philosophy, process, and benefits of executive coaching, I conducted interviews with three independent executive coaches, one sales coach, and two executives at America Online and Capital One, to lend their perspective on some frequently asked questions about executive coaching.
Dr. Cutts: What is your definition of Executive Coaching?
"Coaching has become a major leadership development investment and a pre-requisite for high performing, high potential executives, managers, and employees in a wide variety of industries. Top corporations look to executive coaching as a resource for accelerating leadership development, personal growth and enhancing organizational effectiveness." (Madelyn Clark-Robinson, President and Executive Coach, Executive Development Strategies mclark-robinson@comcast.net)
"A coach is a skilled motivator and one that asks provocative questions." (Le'Angela Ingram, Executive Coach and CEO, The Ingram Consulting Group, Inc. Consultla@aol.com)
"The coach does not provide 'expert' advice but rather provides a mirror for the executive to remain accountable to the executive's goals and objectives." (Don Sloane, Executive Coach and CEO, The Sloane Group, Inc. don@thesloanegroup.com)
"Executive coaching is synonymous with directing. A sales or athletic coach views the team and assesses its strengths and weaknesses. A good mentor allows the student to figure out the problem and brainstorm for ways to fix it." (Loretta Collins, Sales Coach and President, The Sales Doctor, LLC Loretta@thesalesdoctor.biz)
Dr. Cutts: What are some typical reasons why someone might engage an Executive Coach?
Ingram: A few of the reasons that individuals come to me include: career search, career transitioning; personal transitions and sometimes as a sounding board for ideas or difficult situations at work. There are times that I'm simply used as a confidante for clients exploring new things in life.
Sloan: Executives come to me to increase self-awareness, to augment existing capabilities, or for succession planning-"what do I want to do next with my life professionally and or personally".
Clark-Robinson: The companies that I work with are interested in and committed to sustaining success and know how crucial people are to that intention.
Dr. Cutts: What are some of the benefits of working with an Executive Coach?
"I gained a more holistic approach to my business and personal life. I learned to let go more, let other people contribute. He [my coach] helped me understand that I can't do everything on my own." (Marc S., VP, AOL Inc.)
"My executive coach has been a great sounding board to help me frame what I am personally looking for in my job and helping me align my goals with Capital One's goals. This process has then helped me to work on any weaknesses that would prevent me from achieving our common goals due to organizational barriers that play against those weaknesses." (Richard C., Senior VP, Capital One)
Dr. Cutts: What do executives look for when selecting a coach?
"Primarily I looked for someone who had a background in organizational psychology and experience in counseling to develop self awareness and maneuvering through organizational influences." (Richard C.)
"I looked for experience, personality, understanding of business and personal aspects, preferably African American-having an understanding of the unique needs of a Black Executive." (Marc S.)
"The most important thing to look for in selecting a coach is someone with whom you feel you can easily relate to and create the most powerful partnership." (International Coach Federation, http://www.coachfederation.org)
Dr. Cutts: What is your philosophy about coaching?
Ingram: My belief in every individuals' inherit excellence is what drives me to work with clients. We are all good at something, and some of us have eyes to see 'giftings' and can call those gifts forward from others to serve the world at great depths.
Sloan: The coaching relationship is not therapy, it is a relationship where the coach advocates for the client by providing clear, honest, and timely feedback while maintaining the dignity of the client at all times. Coaching is forward looking; where is the client now, where to they want to be, what is the path to get from here to there verses how did the client get to where they are now.
Collins: Give a man a fish he eats for a day. TEACH a man to fish.... My mother has always said that you teach your children the one thing you don't want them to do- and that's leave. Coaching is similar. You want to give your clients the techniques to recognize and fix their own problems. However, there is no shame in admitting you need help again. A coach's job is to be available but NOT do their job.
Dr. Cutts: What is your specific process for coaching?
Ingram: I don't offer a cookie cutter process. Each client is different in their need, and style. I have several models that I like to use and often take pieces of different models to meet the client's unique needs. The number of sessions and frequency of sessions vary.
Sloan: The initial meeting is face-to-face when possible but not required. Sessions also take place by phone and each session is typically an hour. A minimum of three months commitment is required.
Collins: I do a discovery session with the client asking what he or she thinks the problem is, and from there go through a step by step process of how a potential sale might go. It's important to see how the client thinks and how and why they think coaching will help. After that, I design a plan of action to help achieve that person's goal.
Between scheduled coaching sessions, the individual may be asked to complete specific actions that support the achievement of one's personally prioritized goals. The coach may provide additional resources in the form of relevant articles, checklists, assessments, or models, to support the individual's thinking and actions. (International Coach Federation)
What type of fees should one expect to pay for executive coaching?
Fees for executive coaching range from approximately 0-0 per sessions. Many coaches also offer packages for 3, 6, and 12 months.
What is a typical duration of the coaching relationship?
Three months to a year is average.
Dr. Cutts: Would you recommend executive coaching to others, and why?
"Yes if people want to be great at work or in their personal life and want to constantly develop and evolve then having a great coach is the way to go." (Marc S.)
"I would definitely recommend executive coaching to others for many reasons. First, it forces you to take the time to develop an understanding of the organization and get a perspective of the system in which you work. It also helps you to develop a deeper understanding and awareness of what is important to you individually and to the company. It also helps you understand how your personal weaknesses may be inhibiting your ability to achieve your personal or company goals. Finally, it provides a third party sounding board to develop and implement a strategy to achieve those goals." (Richard C.)
Executive Coaching - Frequently Asked QuestionsAs program chairperson of my SCORE ** chapter I am always looking for new presenters to address the group. I frequently ask my fellow business counselors to give me some ideas for topics of interest to them.
In August one member approached me with an idea. He suggested inviting some of the clients that the counselors had worked with this year to one of our meetings to give us some feedback on our counseling techniques -both the highs and the lows.
Five clients were invited to our meeting and they were asked the first 5 questions of this Top Ten list. We learned a lot from the answers we got.
As 2005 comes to a close and we begin 2006 perhaps you are interested in finding ways to get clients to give you feedback about the products and services you offer. Here is a list of 10 questions you could use. Select a few that suite your situation. The key is to ask the question and then allow the client uninterrupted time to answer. Your job is to just listen!
1. What was the greatest benefit you derived from my service***? This question helps you to understand what is working. Sometimes you will be surprised by the answer. Our SCORE chapter has a limit of 3 counselors at one location to counsel one client. Our client panelists said the more counselors the better! We have now eliminated the restriction on the number of counselors.
2. What would you like to see more of when you work with me? For our session the panelists told us some counselors introduced themselves by telling about their business background during the sessions while others did not. The clients said they wanted to hear the qualifications of the counselors who were working with them. Are you forgetting to be consistent when delivering your product or service to your clients? We were! :
3. How could I improve my service? Clients often have ideas that are easy to implement but somehow you haven't thought of. SCORE does both email and face to face coaching. These were face to face clients who wondered if they could get support between sessions through email. Easily done now that we know it might be helpful. (Our email addresses are already on our SCORE business cards!)
4. Is there anything you would like to see me stop doing? This question gives the client the opportunity to tell you about something that isn't useful to him or her. It was suggested in our session that sometimes it is difficult for the business owner to meet with the counselor because the owner can't leave his/her place of business. The SCORE clients wondered if it would be possible for the counselors to occasionally meet them at their own place of business. The answer was "Yes". Again not something we had thought to offer consistently.
5. Is there anything you didn't get from my service that you were looking for?
Here is an opportunity for the client to tell you other services that you might provide. If you are looking for ways to expand your offering this question is important. In the SCORE session one client wanted to know how he might get a counselor who actually worked in or owned the specific type of business that he had. Access to a database of the counselors in our chapter and their background would be helpful to the counselors and our clients. We will be putting one together. (We did have one counselor with exactly the right background for this client.)
6. Has my staff treated you with care, attention, and courteousness? This would be an important question for a service provider with an administrative staff to ask. Clients don't always complain about their experience with your staff but might share something significant when asked.
7. Is there an issue that I have not spent enough time on for you? Sometimes clients allow you to move forward but are still thinking about a previous issue. This kind of question helps them to revisit areas they may have not understood and still have an unanswered question.
8. Am I doing what you want me to do? Most of the time we are doing what we think the client wants. It is good to check once in a while to find out if you are actually doing what the client wants.
9. Where have we been less than proactive in addressing your concerns? It may be that the client is expecting you to move into different areas that you think are being covered by other vendors or staff members. "Being proactive" may have a broader definition to the client than you are using. Asking this question might uncover new business.
10. Is our billing clear? Are you getting value for your money? The bill is often a source of anxiety for the client. He/she needs to know exactly what he/she is being billed for. Does your bill show that? This final value question is critical to insuring your client is satisfied with your product or service.
**SCORE - This is an organization that is part of the Small Business Administration in the US. SCORE volunteers are experienced managers and business owners who counsel small business owners without charge.
***I have used the word service here and also client. You could just as easily substitute product and customer.
Top Ten Client Feedback QuestionsI work with many clients who are moving through a career transition. The desire for a transition comes from different places and for different reasons. Transitions can be made with intention or accelerated through circumstance. Wherever you are, these questions can help you make choices that align with your wants, needs and values.
WHY do you want this transition?
Whether you are making this transition by choice or as the result of a layoff, understanding why you want it will help you get started on your path. This involves looking beyond the income to your deeper reason. Your why could include a better fit for your lifestyle, a better fit with your passions and strengths, the opportunity to make a great impact, and much more. A good place to start figuring out your why is to consider your values, what matters most to you in your life right now.
WHAT do you want?
Transitions can take many different forms, from changing roles, to changing industries, responsibilities and environments. Understanding what you want means more than just choosing your next job title. It starts with a look back to the experiences and environments that brought out the best in you and helped you grow into who you are today. The next step is to look at what you want for your future including how you want to continue to grow, what types of new experiences you want to have, and how large a role you want your career to play in your overall life. Creating a vision for what you want in the form of a story can be a powerful way to capture all of this information. You want your vision to be clear enough that you can see yourself doing, being or having it, but not so clear that is too finite or tied to one path of achievement.
WHO do you want to work with and/or for?
Our careers are much more than our job titles. We can play the same role in several organizations and have very different experiences within each. That is why who your work with and for is so important to consider. Think about the type of organization you want to work for, including what service/product they deliver, how they deliver it, and what matters most to them (their organizational values). Who also includes the clients or customers you will be working with and for, what they care about and why they do business with this organization. Your colleagues and especially your manager/leader play a key role in your satisfaction and success in your career so take time to consider what qualities and traits you are seeking in those connections as well.
WHERE do you want to go - which environments are a best fit for you?
Environments include your physical space, expectations and support. Think about your needs - the conditions that help you do and be your best. Do you thrive the most in a structured or unstructured work culture? Do you do your best work when part of a team or as a leader (or both)? What pace of work do you prefer? These questions and more are important to ask yourself to help you choose your next opportunity.
HOW will you need to stretch or shift?
All transitions involve some changes to your level of activity, your thoughts, perspective and/or behavior. Your plan may include additional education, skill building, new people to meet, a different lifestyle, a risk or leap. The success of our transition is determined by many factors out of our locus of control. What is within our sphere of influence are the choices we make, who we show up as every day, how we handle the unknown and our thoughts about what is possible to achieve.
Time to Prioritize
I have shared many things to consider as you embark on your career transition. Not all of these will matter to you, and some will matter much more than others. Prioritize according to what you believe is right for you and most of all, enjoy the process of your journey while walking toward your goal.
