How many of you have remained friends with your ex after a relationship has ended? Okay, you can put your hands down. Whether he suggested the friendship or you did, your main goal in staying friends was because you were probably hoping that somewhere along the line, you and your ex would start dating again. I mean hey, if you can stay close to him he can see what he's missing. Right? Right.
Well unfortunately for you, establishing a friendship with your exboyfriend is actually counterproductive to getting him back. What you're really doing is giving him all the benefits of having a close relationship with you, but without the commitment you really long for. And while this is going on, your ex gets to date anyone he wants, whenever he wants to... and you have to be happy for him! After all, you're his close friend right? Uh, right.
Transition Coaching
Think about it: why in the world would your ex want to renew your relationship when he's already got just about everything he needs from you. Staying with him at this stage is only hurting your chances of getting back together again. Even if he loves you, he's got the closeness and companionship he desires and without the hassle of having to answer to you in a girlfriend capacity.
And as far as sex goes... are you sleeping with your ex? If not, good for you. But if so, you may be making an even bigger mistake. While this may seem like harmless fun between two friends who already have an intimate history, it's completely sabotaging any chance for a future relationship with your ex boyfriend. If you really want to win him back, you need to stop shooting yourself in the foot.
As much as you feel like you need to be around him, the only true way to get your ex boyfriend back is to finally break up with him. What's that you say? You broke up a long time ago? Sorry to break it to you, but no you didn't. Your "friendship" has been acting as an unhealthy pseudo-relationship, and has prevented the both of you from having to deal with the more painful aspects of breaking up. Taking time apart, missing each other... these are the things your ex (and you yourself) never got to experience. Because of this, he's never had to face life without you in it - meaning that he's never had to make the decision to take you back.
As long as you keep up a friendly relationship with your ex boyfriend, no serious relationship will ever develop. You need to make him realize that being without you is a mistake, and that he'd much rather have you around that not have you at all. And what do you deserve? Nothing less than the role of a girlfriend. The longer you keep up your facade of being good buddies with your ex, the longer it'll take to finally get him back.
Once you made this decision, making that transition from friendship back into romance can be a little tricky. You need to part ways for a while in order to truly know where you stand. When the both of you have examined things from a solo perspective, the two of you can decide if dating again is something you want to pursue.
It's exciting to get back with an ex boyfriend! Giving your relationship a second chance is always risky, but some of the stronger relationships between couples are ones that have been tested in the past.
The Transition From Friendship to Romance - Making Your Ex Want You Back
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