It feels like you've waken from a deep sleep (which was you life thus far) and now you feel like 'it' was a dream you are not completely satisfied with. You start to think, there should be more to 'it'. 'It' being life. You wonder why you're not happy, well real happy, sure you are content, but maybe you just don't feel that euphoria you thought happiness should feel like at this stage of your life.
You begin to ask yourself some key questions. Is this what I want out of life? What's my true purpose? What can I do for those around me who I care for? Is money important? Where has my life gone? Have I wasted my time? And probably a dozen more questions.
Transition Coaching
You go for walks and try to clear your head, but, your subconscious keeps asking the same questions. You start to think and convince yourself that you are going through 'Mid Life Crisis'. Are you? What can we do to move on in life?
Rather than a Mid Life Crisis, it may actually be a reflection on your life thus far, telling you to get your life aligned with your values. Our mind continually processes our actions and our memories to check if they are in agreement with our true values. Think of it as a hierarchical set of guidelines, where values developed from childhood and through to adult underpin how we want to act, what we think and what we hope to achieve. All the actions we therefore do will either be in agreement, or, out of agreement with these values.
It's clear that the more we feel our 'it' is out of agreement with our values, the more we feel uncomfortable and reflective of 'what's happening' in our lives. In the average person this manifests itself in many ways, one example is a mid life crisis. In some individuals where life has been conducted in a fashion which is opposite to ones values some issues may even manifest themselves in ways which affect health, both physical and psychological.
Is it really a mid life issue, or, is it just a life reflective issue? I would prefer to view it as a life reflective time. Many individuals will feel this way during different stages and at different ages of their lives.
So what can be done? The steps to move through a life reflective time and successfully implement a 'Life Transition' are actually quiet simple. Basically; review your values, detail what makes you happy, and what makes you sad and refine these lists into co-operative items. Then work through a process to implement changes which will transition your life to make it closer to your values. You will be amazed at how much life will be both happier and more fulfilled. The following is an extract from the 'A Life Coaching' Self Life Coaching solution pack, specifically from the pro forma self complete worksheets, details are available here : http://www.alifecoaching.com/servicesselfcoach.htm
Let's start the process. The first and very important step is to know yourself a little better. Start by writing a list of 20 items in your life which you are not completely happy with. The issues should cover the following parts of your life :
Relationship, Career, Family, Health, Wealth, Personal,
Friends, Habits, Other
Once the list is completed, rank each item for the level of dissatisfaction this particular item provides. Ranking from 1 to 10 where 1 is a low rating and 10 being the highest rating i.e. the greatest dissatisfaction.
We would like to resolve every issue in life, although sometimes this could take a lifetime to complete, so we must be realistic. Endeavour to refine your list and gain a deeper understanding of yourself. Now choose and list 6 items from the previous list which have been ranked 8 or higher. With this list write a detailed description of why, how and when these issues arise. Describing also how you feel when these issues are active.
Converse to the initial step we now review those parts of your life which bring you true happiness. Now list 12 items which bring you true happiness and joy. These items should once again cover the following parts of your life :
Relationship, Career, Family, Health, Wealth, Personal,
Friends, Habits, Other
Once the list is completed, rank each item for the level of satisfaction this particular item provides. The rankings are from 1 to 10 where 1 is a low rating and 10 being the highest rating i.e. the greatest satisfaction.
From the list above choose and list 6 items which have been ranked 8 or higher. With this refined list, now detail descriptions of why, how and when these items exist. Describing also how you feel when these issues are active.
After detailing and reviewing both the items in your life which bring you dissatisfaction and satisfaction, list eight items which you can change and which will bring happiness at a satisfaction level greater than eight. E.g. I will do more of this, I will do less of this, I will start doing this, I will stop doing this etc..
It is important to be very honest with yourself in this process. The list of eight items will be created as a composite of the items you are dissatisfied with and those items you are satisfied with. It is not important to labor over getting an equal
number of changeable items from each list, it is however important to identify items which can be changed and which you consciously rate as the most appropriate 8 items for changing in your life.
While the information gathered thus far is thorough and covers many aspect of your life, you should not take on a large number of life changes at once as the ability to effectively complete and handle this level of change may be difficult.
Now rank the Change items from the previous page from 1 to 10, 1 being the least important to 10 being the most important to you at this stage. From this exercise you then determine the 3 life transitions you would like to focus on initially.
After having ranked and selected the 3 most important new life transitions, you are ready to start the action process to achieve the desired outcome to transition.
There are two options to successful implement the entire process of reflection and change, one being to undertake the task alone. The most efficient way is to follow the process and steps in the 'A Life Coaching' Self Life Coaching guide as per link details above.
The other option is to gain help and support with a Life Coach through this very important time in your life. This could include help and support from a Life Coach by email, over the phone or face to face. Click here to see and hear Life Coaching options and view the media show on different Life Coaching styles, download times will vary depending on speed of your internet connection:
http://www.alifecoaching.com/websample9.html
You can review more on Life Coaching options and other very useful information on the 'A Life Coaching' website, visit http://www.alifecoaching.com, or feel free to email me at info@alifecoaching.com
Hope you enjoyed this introductory information on Life Transitions. Let me know if it helps.
Life Coach Leo
A Life Coaching
http://www.alifecoaching.com
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