Some people have trouble recognizing that they are being abused. Recognizing abuse may be especially difficult for someone who has lived with it for many years. A person might think that it's just the way things are and that there's nothing that can be done about it. People who are abused might mistakenly think they bring it on themselves by misbehaving or by not living up to someone's expectations.
There is no one reason why people abuse others, although there are some factors that seem to make it more likely that a person may become abusive. Growing up in an abusive family, for example, can teach someone that abuse is a way of life. Fortunately, though, many people who grow up in abusive families realize that abuse is not acceptable and are able to break patterns of abuse.
Transition Coaching
Abuse is always about CONTROL. Whether it is verbal abuse, emotional abuse, or physical abuse, IT IS ABOUT CONTROLLING YOUR PARTNER, subtly or openly.
CONTROLLING behaviors such as those above are used by verbal abusers to gain feelings of power and control whenever the suppressed fear and pain in his own life start to "seep out" - terrified of not being in control, terrified of "feeling," terrified of her leaving.
People can occasionally feel so upset or frustrated that they say something that is abusive, but when they realize how they've come across they apologize and say what they mean in a non-abusive, healthy, way.
If there isn't a feeling of goodwill and understanding between two people in their relationship, if one is hurting and feeling constantly put down by actual comments, for instance, "You can't do anything right," You aren't listening," or is frequently yelled at, then that person is probably in a verbally abusive relationship.
For additional tips on recognising abuse, visit the Abuse Recovery Institute
Recognizing Emotional Abuse
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